Though, it's hard to tell sometimes, 'cause he lets himself get hit a lot.ĭeadpool: Hey, when you have a healing factor that would make even Logan's nuclear-charred adamantium skeleton blush, you let yourself nosh on a lead sandwich every once in a while. But he put that super swagger to use as an expert martial artist. Super strength, super speed, super toughness, the works. Wiz: After escaping in gruesome fashion, Wade resumed his life as a mercenary, taking the name: Deadpool.īoomstick: He's got your standard superhuman buffs.
Weasel: You look like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado. It gave him the same crazy healing factor, but also turned his face into an improv comedy prop. Wiz: Department K was actually a sect of the Weapon X program, a top-secret project for crafting super-soldiers by any means necessary.īoomstick: They shot Wade up with fifty CCs of hot, creamy Wolverine juice. But then the good folks of Department K offered me a cure! Sounded great. Way back, I got stuck in a seriously shitty situation called Cancer, the worst supervillain. I'm Wade Wilson, masterful mercenary and twice robbed of winning People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" award. Some are instantly relatable, a prime example of an average person in a not-so-average world.īoomstick: And some are shoved in your face over and over and OVER AGAIN until you just can't take it anymore!Īn animated avatar of Deadpool appears on-screen.ĭeadpool: Aw, shucks! Are you talking about me? You're such a sweet talker!ĭeadpool: We've been through this, but why stop a good thing? Hi. Some are gothic knights of darkness, a showcase of order versus chaos. Wiz: Every famous superhero has a special something that makes them recognizable. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win-ĭeadpool's animated avatar pops on the screen.ĭeadpool: My third Death Battle! HA! Wait, what was that about a micropenis? Could've sworn that would get his attention.
Wiz: Such as Deadpool, Marvel's merc with a micropenis.īoomstick: And The Mask, a total chad who just oozes big dick energy.Ĭut to Wiz and Boomstick looking off in anticipation. Wiz: To most of us, the laws of reality are unbending rules we never question.īoomstick: Even for us.
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